Archive for the ‘reviews’ Category

Bloxorz: Fun little puzzle game with great sound design

Thursday, April 15th, 2010

Here’s another great way to waste an hour or so.  Bloxorz is an Albino Blacksheep puzzle game with nicely rendered graphics, smooth animation, and excellent sound design.  I frequently mute the sound in Flash games, but rarely with Bloxorz.  Game developers far too often do a half-assed job when it comes to sound, which is a huge mistake.  Sound quality can greatly impact a game’s replayability — especially when the visuals are as spare as they are in Bloxorz.  I frequently refer to the replayability of the original Quake, much of which had to do with Trent Reznor’s sound design.  Neither Quake II or Quake III could touch it.

There are only thirty-odd stages, so the game can be beaten fairly quickly.  The game keeps track of the number of moves, though, so there’s still a certain challenge left in seeing how efficiently it can be beaten.

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Dish out soy-based carnage in Tofu Hunter

Wednesday, April 7th, 2010

New from Adult Swim Games — it’s Tofu Hunter!  Select your weapons and go after the tofu bucks, seitan birds, and tofu dogs while avoiding the tofu does.  Remember to pick off the soy milk containers for more time.

Tip: If you have a pen tablet, try using the pen instead of the mouse.  I find this greatly increases speed and accuracy in Flash-based shooters, while easing wrist stress.

My daughter’s going to love this, minus the scanitly-clad camo-babes who pop up occasionally.  I’m sure she’d happily replace the rottweilers in Quake with tofu bucks.  And yes, she really does play Quake.

Update:

Whoops — forgot to include the disclosure-thingy.  This might count as some sort of review and I don’t want to get caught up in the Greedy-Soccer-Mom-Craven-Dumbass dragnet which yet looms over bloggers.

review_disclaimer_off_300w

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Meatpaper, the magazine for culinary afleshionados

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

Yep, thats a grilled sweat sock. Meatpapers hardore.

Yep, that's a grilled sweat sock. Meatpaper's hardore.

This is a fascinating cultural artifact – Meatpaper, a magazine celebrating all things carnivorous.  As a vegetarian I expected to be more than a little icked-out, but was surprised by how informative and entertaining the content actually was.  The reading-experience (at least online) felt like I was being taken on a tour of an alien culture by earnest, avuncular diplomats who wanted nothing more than for me to gain a deeper understanding of their civilization and its passions.

For example, the article “Chris Cosentino doesn’t want to eat penis, but if he has to, he will” caught my eye for fairly obvious reasons.  The subject, a San Francisco-based chef who seems to specialize in organ meats, describes a field trip he and his kitchen staff took to a farm in order to experience a goat slaughter first-hand:

And I’ll tell you, from that day on, there were never any mistakes with meat in this restaurant. Because the cooks that watched the slaughter, they realized that there’s an animal that’s dying. There needs to be that consciousness in this industry. I felt like a hypocrite; I can go and serve meat all the time and talk about the whole-animal ethic, and yet I hadn’t done a slaughter. And it was hard. It was really hard. I don’t think people realize what it does to you emotionally. It makes you really think about what you’re doing at the restaurant every day.

I urge vegetarians and vegans to check it out.  It’ll broaden your culinary/cultural horizons and it’s a great example of dietary fanaticism without any condemnation of the alternatives.  Heather Smith’s article “Phony Baloney — Layonna Wang’s gallery of gluten” is a great example.

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Film Review: The Call of Cthulu

Thursday, January 14th, 2010

The Call of Cthulu (2005)

  • Adapted by Sean Branney
  • Directed by Andrew Leman
  • Distributed by the H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society

This 2005 independent film adaptation of H. P. Lovecraft’s 1926 horror story is remarkable in at least two important ways. First, it’s arguably the most faithful adaptation of any of Lovecraft’s works. Second, being an independent film and lacking many of the resources necessary for an ambitious adaptation, the filmmakers found an ingenious conceit which allowed them to skirt those limitations.

Attempts to adapt Lovecraft’s stories go back at least as far as Rod Serling’s 1970-1973 Night Gallery television series, but have most notably been (very loosely) adapted by director Stuart Gordon throughout the 1980’s and 1990’s as Reanimator, From Beyond, Castle Freak, and Dagon. None of which, though, really dealt all that well with the subject matter. Lovecraft wrote about extra-dimensional horrors from outside space and time who predate mankind and would one day return to enslave it – or perhaps simply eat it. Lovecraft liked to avoid explicit descriptions of these horrors, preferring to allude to humanity’s inability to comprehend them and their bizarre environments, with most humans’ attempts resulting in madness. The Gordon productions of the 80’s and 90’s very much stuck to what audiences expected from horror films at the time – lots of foam-rubber entrails, fake blood, and naked Barbara Crampton. All good, but not really Lovecraftian at all. Gordon’s best attempt was Dagon, but even that movie used the title of one Lovecraft story to deliver a very loose adaptation of another.

The Call of Cthulu, though, is the canonical work in Lovecraft’s Cthulu Mythos. It has been highly influential throughout the last eighty years, but had never before been adapted to film. The story concerns the efforts of several characters, including an artist, an archaeologist, and a police inspector to unravel the mystery around the Cult of Cthulu. Since the Old Ones predate mankind, their cult is spread across the planet and exists in virtually every human culture. According to the story, “the stars are right”, meaning that Cthulu and his horrific city of R’lyeh will soon rise from the sea. Cult activity has peaked and it’s beginning to attract attention. After a lengthy investigation, the story ends with the surviving characters’ confrontation with Cthulu, where the creature is narrowly defeated and mankind receives another brief, several-millenia reprieve.

Well, maybe. There’s a good reason why it’s known as the “Cthulu Mythos”.

Here’s where the genius comes in. Rather than trying to overcome their budgetary limitations by using cut-rate CGI, the filmmakers decided to make a movie that looked like it had been produced in the writer’s own era – the 1920’s. It’s a silent film. All of the live-action footage is shot in black and white. Its impressively-large cast of characters wears period clothing, uses period props, and the spoken dialogue is conveyed via title-cards. The visual effects are largely created using models and stop-motion animation, although some digital compositing and green-screening is used.

For example, one of the sea-going scenes features an ocean made of flowing strips of fabric, fans, and glitter. The larger sets were built using scaffolding, plywood, cardboard, and cloth and they look fantastic, especially considering what they represent – a sunken city designed by malevolent super-creatures who don’t even need Euclidian geometry. The primary digital effect is a post-production method the filmmakers refer to as “Mythoscope” — a process to create realistic, period film exposure and “age” the footage through artificial wear and tear.

The Call of Cthulu’s 47-minute running time might seem a little short, but it’s entirely appropriate given the subject matter. I can’t verify the period-realism of the film’s original score, but it was composed and arranged in a manner thought consistent with films  from the mid-1920’s. Overall, the film is a remarkable achievement – not only because it does justice to the source material, but because it’s so effective at creating the illusion of vintage film. Just for fun, though, try to spot the modern props which don’t fit with the otherwise anachronistic environments. I’ll get you started – keep your eyes open for the coffee mug.

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Reviews: Absinthe at Cafe Acoustic (or) I bid farewell to my Green Fairy Cherry

Sunday, December 20th, 2009

I had a brand-new experience at Cafe Acoustic last night — absinthe.  I’ve known about it since high school, but never imagined I’d have a chance to try the real deal.  Absinthe was made illegal in the U.S. in 1915 and only very recently has been re-legalized and become available (but only as long as the notorious thujone content is low enough).  Absinthe was well-known as a beverage preferred by many of the French Impressionsists and was long thought to have hallucinatory effects in addition to its inebriating effects.  I was also operating under the mistaken impression that “real” absinthe was still illegal and that the newly available versions were neutered via the removal of wormwood as an ingredient, but (new Cafe Acoustic proprietor and booze nerd) Beer Truck totally straightened me out on the subject.

The Absinthe Drinker by Viktor Oliva, featuring the Green Fairy

"The Absinthe Drinker" by Viktor Oliva, depicting the Green Fairy

This review covers two different things — the absinthe itself, of course, but also review_disclaimer_off_150wBeer Truck’s performance.  This dude knows booze like no one I’ve ever met before, so if you decide to try some absinthe at the Cafe and find yourself suddenly participating in a symposium on the history of your drink, its chemical composition, legal status, associated scandals and meticulous, fetishistic preparation, you’ll know why.  You might want to do some research in advance, because you you don’t want to get flunked by Professor Truck.

First, the absinthe.  Beer Truck tried to talk me out of drinking any of it straight, but I insisted on getting to know it in its unadulterated form.  His current brand,

Click = big

Click = big

Mata Hari, is a gorgeous pale green and has a unique odor and taste.  It smells like booze, but has three distinct odor characteristics which are also present in its flavor: Licorice, pepper, and kerosene.  I like the way it smells, but if you’re not accustomed to drinking straight liquor, do not do what I did.  Get right to the traditionally-prepared absinthe cocktail.  Undiluted absinthe is certainly interesting, though, so I’ll definitely try it again.

On to the absinthe cocktail and the loss of my Green Fairy Cherry.  There are a lot of pictures coming up, so the review continues after the jump…

(more…)

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The Amazing Screw-On Head — Brillaint pilot

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009

I’m really disappointed that this wasn’t picked up for production.  Mike Mignola’s art and story, plus the voice talent of Paul Giamatti, David Hyde Pierce, Molly Shannon, and Patton Oswalt.  Truly a missed opportunity.  Cable your laptop into the hotel flatscreen and watch it big-time, if you have the chance.

The embedded video is tiny, so click on the object and watch it in the best resolution possible.

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Pinstripes and Poltergeists — Best episode yet this season

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
This is like Christmas, my first BMX bike, and meeting the cast of Firefly, all in one!

"This is like Christmas, my first BMX bike, and meeting the cast of Firefly, all in one!"

This was by far the best episode of the season.  It doesn’t make up for all of the crappier ones, but it definitely helps redeem the series.  In my opinion the fourth season had four good episodes and four bad ones (Reviewed here, here, here, and here.  Hell, just click the Venture Bros. tag and go nuts.), which is not a very impressive average.  Hopefully the latest episode is an indication of where the series will go when it returns next spring/summer.

The appearance of Twenty-Four as Twenty-One’s guardian angel is great.  Their discussion about the afterlife and souls is excellent, especially this part:

21: “So, I should become a vegetarian?”

24: “No, like everything living has a soul – even spinach.  You can’t win.”

Also, Twenty-Four’s attempts to taunt Twenty-One and The Monarch in his review_disclaimer_off_150w“scary” voice are hilarious — “He stole your wife’s bra…from the hamperrrrr”.

The plot is more than adequately covered in the Wikipedia entry, so I’m just going to list the notable high and low points:

  • Monstroso: Meh.  Not a very interesting villian.
  • Brock’s eyes appear sunken, probably to indicate the threshold his character crossed when he quit OSI and joined SPHINX.
  • A full year has passed in the Venture-verse since the beginning of the season.
  • Twenty-One still hasn’t actually hurt anyone with his retractable claws.
  • Dr. Venture uses a Commodore 64!
  • Venture has other tenants (besides the Orpheus family and the underground orphan tribe) living on the compound, including the Johnson family in the missile silo and the people with the meth lab in the old propulsion facility.
  • Master Billy Quizboy and Pete White are invited to live on the compound.  This would certainly expedite things when White is needed for tech support and Billy for some hasty surgery.
  • Col. Hunter Gathers really did have sex-reassignment surgery, then reversed it with a re-reassignment surgery.
  • I love the SPHINX henchman’s (right term?) improvised Tourette’s.
  • Shore Leave and Mile High were never a couple but are gayer than rainbows.
  • Twenty-Four hangs out with Speedy, Woodrow Wilson, James Doohan, and Rasputin in the afterlife.  It’s too bad “Texas” and Scott Hall didn’t appear.  Yeah, I know Texas was reanimated by Dr. Venture, but I think he’s technically dead.
  • Twenty-One’s nudie magazine flashback could have been cut.  It was pretty pointless.
  • More Moppet smackdowns are always a good thing.  I still want to see them handed over to Sgt. Hatred.
  • Dr. Venture reveals a really ugly side of his personality when he intentionally traumatizes Hank and Dean with the truth about their mother (which we don’t get to hear) and the fact they’re clones just before they have their memories wiped.  The SPHINX “washing machine” is going to be a frequently used plot loophole-mechanism in the future.
  • The scenes with Brock and Twenty-One were so awesome that they made me want to stand up and cheer.
  • Sgt. Hatred is practically a non-character now.  This is totally inconsistent with the critical role the Venture bodyguard has always played.
  • It’s revealed that Brock has been secretly watching over the Ventures the whole time he’s been “away”.
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The Better Man

Thursday, December 10th, 2009

Cthulu!

Cthulu!

The latest Venture Bros. episode was another uneven one, but I think it ultimately ended with more negatives than positives.

First of all, what I liked.  I thought the Mignola-esque Hell portal, complete with an appearance from Cthulu was appropriate.  I liked Triana’s scene with The Master, particularly his depiction of what her future with Dean Venture would be like.  Did anyone else catch the Eraserhead references in the description of the couple’s severely deformed baby?  We also learned that The Master considers ecstasy to be a suitable headache treatment.  I also like the way Master Billy Quizboy is consistently used as an impromptu surgeon the same way my family and friends use me for tech support.  Sometimes I end up in the bloody apron way too often.  At least I’ve never woken up next to Sgt. Hatred.  It’s about time Triana was officially recognized as one of the very few competent characters and I’m interested to see what she does with the knowledge Hank and Dean are clones.

Speaking of Hatred, here’s what I didn’t like about the episode.  Even though I’ve review_disclaimer_off_150wbeen very clear about my general dislike of Hatred’s character, I was surprised there wasn’t a single appearance of any Venture bodyguard whatsoever in this episode, especially given Hank and Dean’s excursion to the mall.  That seems like an oversight.  I’m not sure why, but the OutRider seemed completely uninteresting and wasn’t anywhere near as vivid a character as he should have been under the circumstances.  At least 95% of the scene on the Venture Compound’s lawn could have been cut.  And The Alchemist’s “cotton balls” anecdote was unnecessarily squicky (although I did once run out of toilet paper and was forced to use coffee filters, instead).

Finally, a few questions:

  • Why is Orpheus constantly caught off-guard by Coach McGuirk’s different manifestations?  You’d think that after Cerberus and Catherine the Great, he’d be expecting to encounter literally anything.
  • How does Jefferson Twilight lose points for “killing” Matthew Lesko?
  • Additionally, how does JT’s “blood eye” not count as a magical power?
  • How did Orpheus end up with custody of Triana in the first place?  That rarely happens.  Usually the biological mother has to actually smoke rock during a custody hearing in order to lose the kid.
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Congrats, Jason Scott!

Saturday, November 28th, 2009

Jason made his Kickstarter goal, so we can look forward to his next documentary, Get Lamp.  In the meantime, here’s my review of his last film, BBS: The Documentary.  It includes download links and and, of course, the drinking game.

Following is an early Get Lamp trailer.  Once again, congratulations!

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“Self-Medication” — pretty good

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
I couldnt find an image for this episode, so heres a DVD cover.

I couldn't find an image for this episode, so here's a DVD cover.

The fourth season of the Venture Bros. continues to be a hit-and-miss experience, but “Self-Medication” was definitely more of a hit than a miss.  I like the idea of Rusty in a therapy group for former boy-adventurers, but it looks like a one-shot deal.  I can understand why, though, since three of the members of his group were voiced by nerd celebrity guest-stars (Patton Oswalt, Seth Green, and John Hodgman), which makes repeat appearances unlikely.  Still, I think the situation had potential, especially with the therapist dead.  I can imagine a running gag where the Monarch kills a different therapist every week.

I was a little surprised to see a living Wonder Boy.  My impression was that all of the previous Wonder Boys had been killed (with the exception of Hank, of course).  The Hale Brothers were a interesting combination of the Hardy Boys and the Menendez brothers.  It seemed like their personalities, a bully and a doormat, might be a reference to something else, but I can’t guess what it is.  Ro-Boy also has some potential as a recurring character, especially if he gets a chance to interact with Helper.  Action Johnny is, well, still a big junkie.

The whole therapy plot really went nowhere after the strip bar fight, but we did learn that the Scooby Doo characters exist in the Venture universe.  We also learned about Velma’s sexual orientation and that she gave Action Johnny herpes.  This means that the actual Scooby crew existed simultaneously with their serial killer-based counterparts from “¡Viva los Muertos!“.

Sgt. Hatred’s story might be getting a little more interesting, but I’m still guessing he’s on his way out.  Running out of “Nomolestal” and being unable to contact the OSI for more review_disclaimer_off_150wseems to indicate that he’s being phased out, but his abandoning the boys at the movies doesn’t square with the whole OSI-bodyguard thing at all.  I’m wondering how he’ll finally go, though.  The show’s theme is failure, so it could be a pretty ignominious end, but he is a sympathetic character of sorts, so he might be given an opportunity for some form of self-sacrifice in order to redeem himself.  I’m curious as to whether we’ll find out what happened after he was lured out of the panic room, netted, and darted.  And why.  He seemed pretty well-contained to begin with.

Dean’s concern for Hatred’s condition and recovery is interesting.  In a previous episode he assumed the role of Hatred’s sponsor and seemed to have knowledge of the specifics of Hatred’s recovery program.  Also, I’m curious about the developing friendship (and occasional partnership) between the Venture brothers and Twenty-One.  Although it’s tough to imagine Twenty-One ever leaving the Monarch’s organization, I still think he’d be great as the Ventures’ new bodyguard.

Miscellaneous: Thanks to this episode, I learned who Henry Darger was.  I’m wondering why Adult Swim lists the episode title as simply “Self”, rather than “Self-Medication”.  Was it censorship or just a goof?

The best lines in the episode were “Jet-kick!” and (the hands-down winner — no pun intended) “Did I just kill Premature Ejaculation?”

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