My buddy Dan sent this commentary regarding an earlier post.  I yakked about the sadness inherent in seeing a household’s contents turned out onto the berm (hence the image).  Click past the jump to read a landlord’s fifteen-step guide to getting rid of your tenants.  Also, keep in mind that Dan isn’t known for his landlordly compassion.  Case in point, Step 13:

13)  Hound them.  Make phone calls, do skip traces, internet searches, whatever it takes.  Get that judgment satisfied and make them cry.

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Professor Dan is ERIWA’s consultant on property maintenance and law, as well as chemistry and online golf.  His hobbies include facial hair experiments and taunting people on the Yahoo Answers forum.  Casual observers sometimes mistake us for siblings.

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Prof. Dan: "Time to go, deadbeats."

Dan Sez:

While eviction is never pleasant, it should be noted that both parties in the matter are equally inconvenienced.  The landlord doesn’t have his rent money and the debtors/tenants have to move.  Ultimately, the process comes down to 15 steps:

1)  The tenant refuses or otherwise shirks to pay the rent.

2)  A period of time passes as the landlord endeavors to give the tenant the “benefit of the doubt,” assuming that promises made will result in cash in hand.  During this time, shared utilities (should this situation exist) are still being used and bills are accruing for the landlord with no offsetting remuneration.

3)  The landlord gets fed up and sues the tenant/s in civil court, paying the 100 dollar filing fee and 20 dollar service fee in order to remove the non-paying resident/s.

4)  Time passes, bills accrue.

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